update from dr

OK, doctor's appointment was today at 9:30am...another non-stress test at 10:15am. I have some good news and some not-so-good news.

9:30am : nurse takes my blood pressure and it is 120 over 70. *big sigh of relief* I guess the whole bedrest thing paid off... It's been hard to stay so inactive but I was thankful that it helped. Then the doctor came in and said I am now 1 cm dilated...yay! Finally we have some progress . He did another ultrasound and said Elijah is fine but he's still face forward. That just means the potential for painful back labor...let's hope this little guy decides to flip around!

10:15am : so I make my way over to the lab for the NST. I'm all comfy in their recliner chair, drinking my water and listening to Elijah's heartbeat...and the nurse mentions how swollen my right leg looks. I looked down and said "Oh that's nothing...you should have seen it on Friday!" Seriously...my leg was about the same size from my ankle to my knee...it was creepy! So she takes my first blood pressure reading...are you ready for this one? 140 over 100! . I just kind of sat there stupified...the nurse says "Just relax here for a bit and we'll take two more before you go". So yeah, we poke Elijah a little and wake him up so we can watch his heart rate increase...he's doing JUST fine. He just likes to sleep! (Gets that from his dad!) 2nd blood pressure reading: 135 over 90...hmmm...not too much better. Is it really possible it jumped that much just from walking from the doctor's office to the lab? Sheesh...well anyway, the third one was 130 over 80. I was not very happy about all this...I felt so good after my appointment and then this...so the nurse tells me to just stay put while she takes the results of the NST to my doctor. It isn't more than about 2 minutes when I hear Dr. Pae's voice coming into the lab with the nurse. He says "I don't really like those numbers, Sandy" ... duh...I should hope not! So here's where it gets "not so good" in my mind. I have to go back for another NST on Thursday...if my blood pressure is above 130 over 80, I'm getting induced on Friday morning. I know, I know...I have to think clearly and do what's best for Elijah and for me but still...this isn't how I hoped and planned. Dr. Pae said he really doesn't want to induce with Elijah face forward either because his experience with that is failed inductions and then a C-section. *huge sigh of disappointment*

**OH AND GET THIS! If they induce me on Friday, it's set up for 5:30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just falling asleep at that time most of the time!**

So here I sit...I'm on bedrest, I can't do anything really except sit here and think...think that maybe I'll have to be induced. And if that doesn't work, I'll have to have a C-section. I just talked to my older sister who said her 2nd was born face up...and he was fine except for a little bruise on his head! So I feel a little better. But you know...well...it's just a little disappointing to think that things won't go the way you hope they will. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter how he's born as long as he's healthy...and it doesn't, but it does. I don't care, but I do. Does that make sense? I'm trying to be optimistic but sometimes it seems that the more optimistic I am about ANYTHING, the worse it gets. Oh my...now I sound like someone else I know...the world is out to get me! Not really...I'm just being difficult. Deep down, I know it won't matter in the long run, but right now, it does matter. So I am going to sit down and relax awhile and try not to think about this. Best case scenario: everything progresses on its own and I can just stop pouting! Worst case scenario: things don't go according to my plan. I guess that's OK as long as all lives at stake are taken care of. It's not really in my hands, after all...

bed rest...

Now, deep down I know that I have to do what's best for the baby and for myself, but I think it all just sunk in...

I just got off the phone with my boss and one of my managers...they're just finalizing everything for the next week since I got pulled off of work early. And it's real...it means I'm not supposed to work until after the baby is born. And for me, this is TWO distinct feelings: it's almost unreal that I am being ORDERED not to work AND it's a little disappointing. I'm not disappointed that I won't have to make tacos anymore...I'm more disappointed that I was so sure I was going to make it until the end and my "end" wound up being 8 days sooner than I had planned. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself...I made it 38 weeks and 6 days working 10 hour days and 50 hour weeks. And I guess this is now my time to just relax a little before everything goes crazy for awhile...but I'm feeling a little strange about it.

Ah...cope and deal, hey? I guess that's something I'll work on while I'm spending all this quality time resting .

**PS: It's 7:41pm now...I got home from the doctor at just after noon today. I am bored...oh-so-bored. I am trying to be optimistic; really, I am! But part of me is really just pouting I think...**

stuffed!

**SEE UPDATE AT BOTTOM**

I just ate WAY too many Lucky Charms...it was just a bowl full but it feels like I ate the whole box. I am too full now...

I have to really get some pictures taken soon...if I wait too much longer, there will be no pictures of me in my last few weeks. I'll make Adam play photographer when he gets home from work. Since we rearranged the living room/dining room on Wednesday, we can put up pictures of that, too! We had to get the 2nd kitty tree out of the baby's room...didn't want the cats to surprise him with a jump from the 3rd shelf of the tree into the crib some night! So now our spoiled cats have TWO kitty trees in the living room! But our apartment looks SO much bigger now.

We really need to get those baby clothes organized, too! Why is it that I keep waiting for them to fold and organize themselves? *sigh* I feel so lazy this week it's unbelievable. I woke up this morning and decided to just lay in bed and look at the ceiling for about 45 minutes because I just didn't feel like hauling my butt out of bed. I don't like feeling so lazy...and I really don't like the fact that it is already getting dark outside and it's only 4:40pm! I don't care too much for the winter months...I like the sun!

Well, Finnegan has finished drinking the remainder of my cereal milk so I must wash the bowl out now. And I think I will watch last night's Grey's Anatomy and FOLD some clothes! I'm gonna do it...I am going to get those baby clothes done TONIGHT! I now have a mission and purpose to my night off...everyone keep your fingers crossed that I accomplish this.

**UPDATE**
I DID IT! I actually got the clothes separated by size and type, into their appropriate bins and then put the "These clothes are way too big" and the "These clothes should be hung up" on hangers and into the closet. I feel so much better now. I think I'm rewarding myself with a bath, a nice cold Diet Coke and then pizza when Adam gets home. It was a good night!

update

SO, I had a doctor's appointment today...an early one at that. 9:15am is much too early when you don't get home from work until about 3:30am. And to add insult to injury, I actually got the the office early and had to wait 45 minutes. I thought doctor's offices were usually on time or ahead of schedule in the morning? Oh well...it gave me some time to almost fall back asleep and people watch. Doctor waiting rooms are the best for people watching...

Oh, so I guess the point of this post...nothing has really changed except that I continue to get fatter...and so does the baby! Doctor asked if I've had any Braxton Hicks contractions yet...I said I thought perhaps I had felt one or two yesterday but not any besides that. The exam would reveal that I am "not at all dilated and not really effaced at all"...that's encouraging, Doc...I guess Elijah is quite comfy in his womb right now! Sorry, Ki...you'll have to wait a little while before your cousin is ready to come out and play!

Well, that is my update for everyone...not too exciting. I still have stuffed sausage leg, but I'm starting to just accept it. It's not like I'm doing any runway modeling right now anyway! And if I decide I want to do that, I'm sure SOMEONE out there would pay me to photograph my sausage leg! Look out, America...the stuffed sausage billboards are coming to neighborhoods everywhere!

deal or no deal

(***EDITED AT THE BOTTOM BECAUSE OF A VERY FUNNY SITUATION!!!***)

I am completely addicted to this game show...I am truly pathetic

Know what else? I really LOATHE being short...especially while I am pregnant. I can't reach ANYTHING in my house. Do you know that I just had this major chocolate craving and wanted the Swiss Cake Rolls out of the cabinet above the stove. Well when I opened the cabinet I realized that they were much too high for me to get. I had several options. #1: Forget the chocolate and eat something better for me (sheah...right!). #2: Get a chair from the kitchen table and climb...not recommended for someone who is front heavy! #3: Silently be very upset that Adam put them too far back in the cabinet and is now at work until 10pm. OR #4: Use my new improved method for grabbing things out of the cabinet...kitchen tongs! I chose #3...hahahahaha Nope it was indeed #4. The funny thing is that I teased Adam for MONTHS about those kitchen tongs that he bought in 3 sizes and uses for everything when he's cooking...I'm embarrassed now!

OK, I'm over it.

One of the cats just stepped on the remote and the next station up has some crazy show on called "Trading Spouses"...HA! I wouldn't trade Adam...not even for a day! And if he ever tried to "trade me out", he'd find out just how dangerous kitchen tongs can be! I'm only joking. Sometimes it's really crazy...I'll be driving or at work or walking through a store and all of the sudden I stop dead in my tracks and think "Holy Cats...I'm married!" It's not strange or anything...just WAY COOL .

I have been awake since about 4:10am this morning...why am I so awake? I thought for sure when I dragged myself out of bed this morning that I would be passed out and comatose by this time tonight. Second wind? Third maybe? I don't know. I made a decision that if I am tired, I'm just going to sleep...no matter what time it is. I am so seriously awake enough right now that I think I'm going to take a shower and find a huge beach towel to use afterward (thanks for that idea, Caitlin!). Yup...but I still have about 28 minutes until Deal or No Deal is over...

***EDIT STARTS HERE: Sooooo I took that shower and when I was done, I wrapped myself up in my BIG, fuzzy warm yellow beach towel...I was enjoying being enveloped and decided to dry my hair with the EXCESS towel (first time in ages!) and then I dried my face. It was WAAAYYY too late when I realized that the cats have been sleeping on that beach towel in the bedroom closet for, oh, probably 5 or 6 months. My face was covered in black, white and orange fur and nothing I did would get it off. Slightly fearful, I pulled the rest of the towel off and realized I resembled our cats because my entire body was just covered in fur...I couldn't laugh or cry or be mad or anything. It was just too unbelievable. I had to take another shower in very cool water because I had used all the hot water the FIRST time to get all the fur off...sheesh. I'm amused by the whole situation now because when I came out of the bathroom, all four cats went running in different directions when they saw me coming...they must have known! I think my cats conspired against me!***

I am the size of a whale...

So I tried to go clothes shopping this evening after work for some special-type clothes. I am a beached whale...bloated and just huge. I thought dressing room mirrors were supposed to be "forgiving" and that's why clothes look good on you in a store but not at home?!?! If what I saw was FORGIVING, I must be the size of TWO BEACHED WHALES! Kind of depressing...this is not something I should be leaving for the last minute...yeah, that's kinda funny I guess.

On a more positive note, Adam and I got to tour the hospital last night and see the birthing rooms and so forth. WAY COOL! I was rather impressed with the hardwood floors...and the hydrotherapy room...definitely thinking that is a good idea if I can. I guess this hospital has something crazy like a 70% epidural rate so the room doesn't get used much...well, sign me up! They can let me start using it now ! I want to avoid epidurals...really really don't want to go there...I have this "thing" about my back. So yeah...the hospital is very nice, big rooms, nice floors, nice paint...I'm just pleased.

Okay, well I have much to do prior to my busy day tomorrow so I really must move my beached butt away from the computer and try to accomplish some housework and stuff so I don't have to worry about it tomorrow.

5 month pics

I really don't enjoy picture taking...these were the result of quite a few attempts to get a decent picture.