thoughts

So...today was pretty much an atypical day for me. I had the day off from work and Elijah slept until 9:15am. It was soooo great to sleep in a little. I was still up before him but that meant that I had a chance to brush my teeth and put my contacts in before he woke up! We watched a little local news while he ate and then, surprise, Adam walked in for a quick visit. Just popped in to say hi...one of the perks of him working 1 mile from our apartment! He asked what we had planned for the day -- this is where it gets really atypical! I had the whole day planned out. We needed to go grocery shopping and clean the apartment a little and then I had dinner all planned out. Yeah, me...cooking dinner. I dunno...I woke up and just knew what was happening. I can honestly say it's the first time since Elijah was born that I didn't just say "Well, it's my day off and we'll see what happens". YAY for organization! So that was our plan. And as soon as Elijah finished eating, I got ready, got him ready and then we were off...a little later than planned but still okay. We got to the grocery store all set...my list made out, broken down into sections (I am SO excited by this...just try to be excited for me!) and coupons ready! I decided to take it slower today in the store...we went up and down EVERY isle...and Elijah was SO good! He just looked around like he was having a good time. At about isle 6 he got fussy but you know what? MOM was prepared...she's a champion! I took a slightly larger purse today and put extra toys in there...good move on my part! So we were done except for all the frozen food. I said something to Elijah about being almost done and he was PASSED OUT! Awww....I tired him out! He stayed asleep, even when I checked out and had some crazy old lady ram her cart into ours. No problem...she apologized and I just smiled and said "It's OK...he'll sleep through a hurricane!". And I really knew that it was OK> Normally I would have probably given a half-hearted "It's OK" and really been thinking "Whatever you crazy lady!" and been all bent out of shape about it. We got to the car in the rain and Elijah woke up a little...I still got all 15 bags of groceries (yeah, I counted) into my trunk and got into the driver's seat and just sighed a little. We'd made it, without an incident.
So we drove home and Elijah was awake when I pulled into the parking lot...no biggie...he just sat in his carseat while I unloaded the groceries. I figured he'd pass out for a nap. Well he had a different agenda. He ate and decided to play for awhile, while I cut produce and made taco dip. Then the world stopped spinning for him...he started just freaking out in his Excersaucer and I thought for a minute "Oh this is bad..." but I picked him up and he was rubbing his eyes. Yeah, nap time. I laid him down and he wailed for about 5 minutes...I felt soooooo bad for those 5 minutes....but I knew he was tired and if I picked him up again, he'd just stay awake. Know what? That was about an hour ago and he is still asleep! So here I am....waiting for the chicken to finish cooking so I can finish the enchiladas and have dinner ready for Adam in about 45 minutes.

SO when did this happen? First of all, when did stuff finally fall into place with Elijah? When did we finally get him on a schedule? The last time I had off work (UH, yesterday!) he was so uncooperative! Today has been OK...and part of it I know is because I've been trying so hard to keep him on a set schedule. But all this is just icing on the cake today. When did I actually become a real wife and mother? I mean, I know the technical date but those are just dates...I didn't really feel like this until today. Until now, I was just Sandy...living a different life. And that different life was OK but it was so strange for me. I was so independent until I met Adam...everything was about work and getting myself situated. All that changed...I don't know...maybe I just didn't really look at it until today. But as I was preparing dinner it suddenly hit me that now I'm not just Sandy...I'm someone's wife, someone's mom, someone's sister, someone's daughter, someone's daughter-in-law, someone's sister-in-law...OMG! The list goes on....and normally this would all freak me out but it's totally OK today! When did all this happen? And what makes today so different? HOLY CRAP!