Yes...Still!

It's always interesting to see what God gives you when you ask for comfort and peace. Last night was awful. I don't know WHAT happened, WHERE it all came from or even WHY I suddenly felt like I was being bombarded by raw emotions that I couldn't handle. All I really knew was that I was hurting, and it sucked. I wanted it to be gone. It didn't matter how long I prayed, or how many times I asked God to take it away, I still went to bed feeling like my heart was ripped apart again.

I woke up this morning and didn't feel much better. I slept poorly and had some pretty intense dreams. As I pretty much rolled myself out of bed, I reminded myself that God would help me get through the day. I asked, well maybe it was more like begged, Him to please stay close. I knew I couldn't do this one on my own.

Typically, after I sit down in my pew at church, the first thing I do is scan the array of songs we'll be singing. I didn't this week. I couldn't. Music is a powerful thing for me and I knew if I started thinking about what we were going to be singing, I'd probably get myself all worked up and upset before it even started! So when we got to our fourth song, I realized God had given me a wonderful gift of comfort at that moment:


Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand
     When the oceans rise and thunders roar
     I will soar with you above the storm
     Father you are king over the flood
     I will be still and know you are God
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust
("STILL" - Hillsong)


I was reminded that God is bigger than this. He has my back. He knows that it hurts, some days more than others. I believe that it makes Him sad, too.

And yet, I have to remember to trust...and to be still and know that He is God. This storm is a tough one for me, but God is holding me.

Because of that, I know I'm okay.