Now, deep down I know that I have to do what's best for the baby and for myself, but I think it all just sunk in...
I just got off the phone with my boss and one of my managers...they're just finalizing everything for the next week since I got pulled off of work early. And it's real...it means I'm not supposed to work until after the baby is born. And for me, this is TWO distinct feelings: it's almost unreal that I am being ORDERED not to work AND it's a little disappointing. I'm not disappointed that I won't have to make tacos anymore...I'm more disappointed that I was so sure I was going to make it until the end and my "end" wound up being 8 days sooner than I had planned. I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself...I made it 38 weeks and 6 days working 10 hour days and 50 hour weeks. And I guess this is now my time to just relax a little before everything goes crazy for awhile...but I'm feeling a little strange about it.
Ah...cope and deal, hey? I guess that's something I'll work on while I'm spending all this quality time resting .
**PS: It's 7:41pm now...I got home from the doctor at just after noon today. I am bored...oh-so-bored. I am trying to be optimistic; really, I am! But part of me is really just pouting I think...**