bed rest - day 2

I am doing my best to keep a positive outlook and remain sane during this time...

I will admit it was nice to know that I didn't have to leave at 7:30am to go to work for 10 hours today...it's about 35 degrees outside! It's just very difficult to try to sit still! I'm behaving, though. It's given me a chance to have a heart-to-heart discussion with Elijah, too...it's time for him to at least START something here! If I go to my appointment on Monday and the doctor tells me again that I'm not dilated at all, I'm going to be pretty frustrated . While I was hooked up to the fetal monitor for the non-stress test, the tech and Adam both asked if I felt any contractions. Nope...and obviously if I'm having them, they're not very productive! So I told this little child of ours that it's time for him to make a decision to start working his way down. I haven't even dropped yet! Come on, Elijah! At least do that for me! I'm thinking that's what is making this whole "bed rest" thing a little trying for me...I still feel like I've got SO much time because nothing has happened so far. It's actually kinda freaky...I keep thinking I'll end up being one of those crazy talk show people who tells her story of how she didn't even know she was in labor until she was delivering her baby in the shower, on the toilet, in the car, in her sleep...no thanks! We need to leave that for the professionals! I don't think the cats would be very good nurses, either...they shed too much.

When I see my doctor on Monday, I'm telling him that it's his fault...he left town on the 4th and his first day back is Monday. I told him NOT to leave! Ok, I know it's not his fault but right now that doesn't matter to me.

I just spilled Kool-Aid on my shirt...red Tropical Punch on my white t-shirt...oh wait, it's Adam's white t-shirt! Good job, Sandy. I sure do miss having that washer and dryer in our last apartment! Oh well...maybe I'll just let the stain set in and keep it as a reminder of my journey through bed rest!

OK, I ate some lunch and now the baby's moving more. I feel better now...and a little sleepy. This is the ONE positive thing I have found about my "no work" order...I have been getting so tired about noon or 1pm every day for the past month. When I'm at work, I can't very well take a nap! So I think I will take a nap now...and everyone can wait in anticipation for my next entry. I have a little extra time on my hands so I'll keep you all updated on my progress...if not PHYSICAL progress, I can at least tell you about my progress toward the crazy lady ward of the hospital!

update from dr

OK, doctor's appointment was today at 9:30am...another non-stress test at 10:15am. I have some good news and some not-so-good news.

9:30am : nurse takes my blood pressure and it is 120 over 70. *big sigh of relief* I guess the whole bedrest thing paid off... It's been hard to stay so inactive but I was thankful that it helped. Then the doctor came in and said I am now 1 cm dilated...yay! Finally we have some progress . He did another ultrasound and said Elijah is fine but he's still face forward. That just means the potential for painful back labor...let's hope this little guy decides to flip around!

10:15am : so I make my way over to the lab for the NST. I'm all comfy in their recliner chair, drinking my water and listening to Elijah's heartbeat...and the nurse mentions how swollen my right leg looks. I looked down and said "Oh that's nothing...you should have seen it on Friday!" Seriously...my leg was about the same size from my ankle to my knee...it was creepy! So she takes my first blood pressure reading...are you ready for this one? 140 over 100! . I just kind of sat there stupified...the nurse says "Just relax here for a bit and we'll take two more before you go". So yeah, we poke Elijah a little and wake him up so we can watch his heart rate increase...he's doing JUST fine. He just likes to sleep! (Gets that from his dad!) 2nd blood pressure reading: 135 over 90...hmmm...not too much better. Is it really possible it jumped that much just from walking from the doctor's office to the lab? Sheesh...well anyway, the third one was 130 over 80. I was not very happy about all this...I felt so good after my appointment and then this...so the nurse tells me to just stay put while she takes the results of the NST to my doctor. It isn't more than about 2 minutes when I hear Dr. Pae's voice coming into the lab with the nurse. He says "I don't really like those numbers, Sandy" ... duh...I should hope not! So here's where it gets "not so good" in my mind. I have to go back for another NST on Thursday...if my blood pressure is above 130 over 80, I'm getting induced on Friday morning. I know, I know...I have to think clearly and do what's best for Elijah and for me but still...this isn't how I hoped and planned. Dr. Pae said he really doesn't want to induce with Elijah face forward either because his experience with that is failed inductions and then a C-section. *huge sigh of disappointment*

**OH AND GET THIS! If they induce me on Friday, it's set up for 5:30am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm just falling asleep at that time most of the time!**

So here I sit...I'm on bedrest, I can't do anything really except sit here and think...think that maybe I'll have to be induced. And if that doesn't work, I'll have to have a C-section. I just talked to my older sister who said her 2nd was born face up...and he was fine except for a little bruise on his head! So I feel a little better. But you know...well...it's just a little disappointing to think that things won't go the way you hope they will. I keep telling myself that it doesn't matter how he's born as long as he's healthy...and it doesn't, but it does. I don't care, but I do. Does that make sense? I'm trying to be optimistic but sometimes it seems that the more optimistic I am about ANYTHING, the worse it gets. Oh my...now I sound like someone else I know...the world is out to get me! Not really...I'm just being difficult. Deep down, I know it won't matter in the long run, but right now, it does matter. So I am going to sit down and relax awhile and try not to think about this. Best case scenario: everything progresses on its own and I can just stop pouting! Worst case scenario: things don't go according to my plan. I guess that's OK as long as all lives at stake are taken care of. It's not really in my hands, after all...