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Showing posts from March 19, 2010

Faith - part 2

One of the most difficult parts of losing Jonah this past December has been how disconnected and distant I’ve felt from God. At a time in my life when I feel I need Him the most, I often feel like I did many years ago when I was finishing up college and going through absolute turmoil in my life…alone and without the answers that I wanted so much. The difference this time is I remember what it felt like to turn away from God and try to live my life MY way. I remember how lost I was, and how difficult those 5 years were. And I decided in early January that although I felt like God was so far away, I would never turn my back again. Even when I felt like I was calling out to Him and being ignored, I was going to remember His promise to never leave me. I believe there is a reason that we’ve experienced this so many times and I may never know that reason while I’m here on earth…but that’s okay. I wanted so much to believe that I was right for keeping faith in the unknown. And now, not quite…