Showing posts from March, 2011


Eli has a toy Beanie Baby tiger whose name is Stripes. This little tiger once belonged to me but I gave him to Eli a few years ago. Stripes has been living in Eli's toy box, undisturbed, for most of those years. That is, until about 2 weeks ago.

2 weeks ago, Eli found Stripes and started playing with him pretty much non-stop. The interaction that Eli has with Stripes is very different from his other stuffed animals. He seems to go through phases where different stuffed things are more important to him than others. When we first moved back to Iowa, when Eli was about 19 months old, he had three things that HAD to be with him at all times: Puppy-puppy, Gi-gi and Lamb. (Gi-gi is his baby blanket). When he would get upset, he would immediately ask for those three items, and only then did he feel better. When I visited my family in Pennsylvania in February of 2010, Eli had a new attachment to a stuffed red, jalapeƱo- shaped cat toy...aptly named Pepper. We visited my cousin Heather in …

Discouragement and Faith

Today I'm feeling a little discouraged. I've spent the past 14 months fighting frustration but today, it's just discouragement. We tried for 14 months before we got pregnant with Jonah...14 months after already having had 2 miscarriages. After we lost Jonah, we decided to start trying as soon as we were given the "OK" from the doctors. It's been 14 months. We decided to enlist the help of doctors. At my appointment yesterday, I was told about the first three tests that would be performed to find out if anything is physically preventing a pregnancy. Three tests...easy enough! Well, it would have been easy enough if they were covered by health insurance. 2 of them are NOT COVERED AT ALL (the other I'd just have to pay 10% or something like that). Those 2 non-covered tests would cost us well over $1500. Those 2 tests would exceed what is left of our flexible spending account. So if I have those tests done, we have NO flex money left for the event o…