Showing posts from 2011

Running with birds...

Have you ever stopped to watch a large bird soaring above you in the sky? I don't mean casually looking up and thinking "oh hey, look at the bird flying"; I mean really watching the act of soaring? Today I became totally engrossed in it...completely intrigued. I was out for a long run and happened to notice a group of 4 large birds above me, soaring. I couldn't avert my eyes because the longer I watched, the more beautiful it became. They looked so graceful, and their movements seemed so effortless. They just left their wings out wide and soared above me in the blue sky, and it seemed so peaceful. Soon, they were out of my sight and I started running again, which I'm fairly certain did not look nearly as beautiful as the soaring birds!

As I was running, I started to think about Isaiah 40:31 -

"But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint" (…

School days

Hard to believe how big he is year is kindergarten!

New preschool for him this year but it doesn't seem to be phasing him. I think I was more worked up over the school change than he was! He just really likes going to school. I'm so glad he has the opportunity to attend a good school, and that he enjoys it so much. I always liked school and I think the experiences I had and the knowledge that I gained from my school years are so valuable to me...I hope Eli continues to enjoy school!

Field trip - Jacobson Bear Creek Park

I had planned this as a late morning trip to a park we hadn't been to yet. On the agenda was a picnic lunch, followed by a walk to explore the trails in the small wooded area. Eli had other plans in mind, I guess! Let's recap through some pictures, shall we?

Eli took this picture on the way to the park. He is enamored by our town's water tower...thinks it's pretty cool.

Entrance to the park
"Mom, can I run over there before lunch?" Yup!

"Mom, can I stand on the table before lunch?" Sure, why not?!

Just a few pictures from around the picnic tables.

 Yummy lunch...string cheese, grapes, hard-boiled eggs, apples, PBJ (sans crust, of course) for Eli
AND Diet Coke for me, of course :-P

"Mom, why do we eat celery with peanut butter?" "MOM, this is really crunchy and tasty!" Those were his actual words...little goof!
So, we finished lunch and began our walk into the wooded area. Eli was talking my ear off the entire time about bugs, squirrels and …

Moving on...with God

"If you wait, your heavenly Father will pick you up, carry you out into the night, and make your life sparkle. He wants to dazzle you with the wonder of his love."
A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World - Paul Miller

A mere two Sundays ago, we had a sermon on grace, power and thorns in our flesh. Our pastor asked the question "How do you deal when you ask 'How long?' and God replies with 'Longer...' ?" What do you do when that thorn won't go away? (It was a very powerful sermon...if you'd like to see the sermon notes, go HERE) It's easy to pray and ask God to take it away, or to ask for relief. It's pretty easy to ask for an answer...but usually what we really want is an answer that aligns with our own desires. For me, it's really easy to say I'll patiently wait on Him, but deep down I think I mean I'll wait as long as I get my way. What I don't always understand is why I'm being made to wait. W…

Shooting stars

I have this "thing" about shooting stars. I really like them...always have. But that's not my "thing"...

I truly believe that we are given "signs" and things like that from God. I truly believe that when our hearts hurt and  our vision gets clouded because of emotion, God uses whatever He can to break through and remind us that He loves us so much. I'm also pretty certain that I miss these signs sometimes. But there are times when it's undeniable for me. I can be having a really tough day when I'm feeling like a failure and Elijah will walk up out of the blue, give me a hug and say "You're my best mommy in the whole wide world!". Now, of course, I am his ONLY mommy but that is unimportant. I feel better. My kid likes me! Now, I'm sure that he loves me anyway but do you think it's possible that God played a bit of a role in my little boy walking up to me at that very moment to tell me those wonderful things? I believe …


It's always interesting to see what God gives you when you ask for comfort and peace. Last night was awful. I don't know WHAT happened, WHERE it all came from or even WHY I suddenly felt like I was being bombarded by raw emotions that I couldn't handle. All I really knew was that I was hurting, and it sucked. I wanted it to be gone. It didn't matter how long I prayed, or how many times I asked God to take it away, I still went to bed feeling like my heart was ripped apart again.

I woke up this morning and didn't feel much better. I slept poorly and had some pretty intense dreams. As I pretty much rolled myself out of bed, I reminded myself that God would help me get through the day. I asked, well maybe it was more like begged, Him to please stay close. I knew I couldn't do this one on my own.

Typically, after I sit down in my pew at church, the first thing I do is scan the array of songs we'll be singing. I didn't this week. I couldn't. Music is a p…


Should I still miss you so much that it rips my heart out to think about you? I mean, it normal to have weeks of being "okay", only to have a night when something little makes your absence seem unbearable? Is it normal to just fall apart MONTHS later? is.

It's totally normal, and it's completely acceptable.

But it still hurts like it was that day all over again.

So tonight I just pray that God gives me comfort and peace...

...because tonight it's so hard...


Allowing God to comfort you

Sometimes when I'm upset, I really don't like to be touched. Obviously this is true if I'm angry or irritated about something, but I've found it occasionally happens if I'm sad about something. It may be a person's natural, caring instinct to try to hug me but that gesture might be met by resistance from me. It's easy for me to shut down when I'm trying to deal with emotions.

The past two days have been interesting. I got answer to a prayer, but I wasn't especially thrilled by the answer. It confused me, and made me a little irritated. During the extended amount of time this request was prayed for, I continually asked God to help me accept whatever answer He gave me. I really believed that I was okay with whatever answer came...

...until that answer came.

There was hurt and disappointment. There was a little peace. There was some misdirected anger. Okay, I sort of raised my voice to God. I told Him that I was upset, and that I felt like I had been &q…

Satan is a jerk

Satan is a jerk.

I'm pretty sure that A: nobody is going to disagree with my statement and B: this is not news to anyone. I felt it was important enough to state not only in my post title, but also the first sentence. Perhaps I find it necessary to reiterate simply because it is such an obvious, but important, truth. Honestly, however, I'm kind of hoping he reads my blog so that he knows that I'm onto his unscrupulous trickery. Enough with the shenanigans already!

Okay, back on track. Satan knows exactly what to use to try to bring a Christian make one doubt herself and her faith. Sometimes he likes to try to get me to believe that I'm a bad mom, which is what happened last week. God set me straight when I told Him about that. Other times, Satan has tried to tell me that I'm starting too late...that all those years that I was acting pretty rebelliously toward God will always haunt me. Yeah, God and I talk about that one a lot, too. God has been good about…

When I'm wrong...

I don't particularly like being wrong about something. I admit, sometimes I am wrong but sometimes it irks me when it gets pointed out to me. I've found that I tend to react 2 very different ways when my error is shown to me. If the person pointing out my error tends to be attacking about it, I get defensive. Example: "No, you're and white, no discussion...whatever debate you provide I can't hear because you're wrong." This person could very well be correct. It may be black and white and I may already realize my error. Their method of correction has sparked a defensive fire in me and I go into argumentative mode, or shut down mode. (That's just me pouting because yes, I'm wrong but my feelings are hurt because I feel attacked by the less than gentle approach!)

Then, there is the person who says: "Okay, I see what you're saying/doing. However, let me point 'A,B, and C'. What do you think?" My defensiveness is muc…

Be Still...

"Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10a

I have a tough time with this. You see, my Type A personality gets in the way...a lot. When there is a crisis (or perceived crisis), I like to act on it and start to fix it. When there is something that needs to get done (or I think needs to get done!), I like to get an action plan and then get the plan into action! I like to figure things out, to understand not only the answer to something but how I got there, and WHY it happened and HOW I can use it in the future or prevent it from happening again. When I worked as a manager, I filled my office and store with charts, graphs, spreadsheets, lists and everything was color-coded somehow...even the managers who worked under me had colors assigned to them! I like order, and I like routine. I like to know what's coming next. I get a little unnerved if someone tries to adjust my organizing.

I like control. (There...I said it!)

So it's very difficult for me when God tells me…


I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. --Galatians 2:20--

(The video doesn't seem to want to work all the time for me on my blog. In the above video doesn't work, here's the link to YouTube - My Baptism )

God is so good! :)

The enormous heart of a little boy

Elijah is very kind-hearted. Sometimes, he can be pretty mean (particularly to his parents!) but in the big picture, this little boy has a lot of compassion in his heart. Today, God used this little boy to truly touch my heart. Here's our story:
We had a lot of little errands to do today and Elijah has been sick. I knew he wasn't going to be super thrilled with the idea of sitting in the car for so long so I tried to keep things fun...singing and looking for interesting things outside that we could talk about. We were headed out of town to Boone and we saw a house being built. Elijah started talking about it as soon as he saw it...the machines, the little bit of the frame that was up, the men with hammers, etc. I explained that it was going to probably take a little while to get the whole house up. Elijah's face fell a bit when he thought about that but suddenly he perked up.
"I think that MAN found a house, Mommy!" "What man?" "You know, that man from…