12 days of gifts from Jonah - Day 1

On another blog I follow, the writer challenged those of us who have lost children to spend "the 12 days of Christmas" thinking about the gifts, tangible or non-tangible, that we have been "left" by our child's short life. There aren't many tangible things that we have from Jonah (although there are a few), but because of that, I've been almost forced to focus more on what isn't seen with my eyes or held in my hands. I'm taking this "challenge" because this month is really hard, harder than I'll admit to anyone (myself included). I need something. I'm not sure I'll be able to follow the "12 days format" of having the exact number of something for each day (12 things on day 12, for instance) but we'll see. What a year 2010 has been!

**Day 1 (12/14): 1...One big brother who cherishes the memory of his baby brother that he'll only get to meet in Heaven someday. Elijah plays with his toy nativity set and calls baby Jesus "baby Jonah". If I correct him, he just tells me that it's "baby Jonah". Elijah accepts the fact that Jonah isn't here, and tells me that someday he'll play with him in Heaven. My 4 year old reminds me that sometimes it's easier to accept, remember, and look to the future instead of questioning the "whys" and "hows" of what has already happened.

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