stupid weight plateau

I just can't seem to lose any more weight. It is extremely frustrating. Don't get me wrong...it's important to me that I'm healthy, and I love running and eating healthy. But my clothing supply is rather limited right now. Ever since one pair of jeans developed a rather large hole in the knee, I have ONE pair of jeans that fit. One... *sigh* And none of my pre-pregnancy shirts fit me anymore because my boobs just won't shrink anymore. So I have essentially t-shirts to wear...every day.

I just don't know what else to do. I know eventually my body will break this plateau but, well...summer is fast approaching and I really need to fit into more clothes.

This is all very frustrating...

aching shins

I have shin splints...for the first time in MONTHS! I should have known better...I decided to do some trail running the past two days. On Wednesday I did 6 miles and yesterday I did just over 5 miles. My legs are screaming at me right now. I overdid it...I just got so excited because the weather was so nice and I wanted to run outside as much as possible while my Adam was off from work. Ugh...I'm suffering today! I really, really want to go running today but I think I'm going to have to force myself to wait. With the walking/pushing the stroller I did today I think THAT with some stretching is about the extent of my training!

over a year...

It's been over a year of trying to get pregnant. It's been a year of semi-craziness on my part...waking up every morning and taking my temperature, charting signs and symptoms, and hoping, every month, that we would be pregnant. And every month that dream was shattered. Some months were harder than others...the months where I was really late and thought FOR SURE it HAD to be this month that it worked! Nope.

I told Adam that I was just going to stop thinking about it. I can't. I won't lie to myself. I want more children. I will still think about it...probably not as much but I'd be silly to say I'm just going to stand idly by and hope for the best.

It is in God's hands...this much I know. I can't plan it...but I was hoping I could maybe "help it along" a little. I guess not. My help wasn't needed in that area!

Who would have thought that it would be so difficult to get pregnant when you really want to have a baby? I mean, I know there are plenty of other people out there who have tried for longer, and I feel for them, too! It just doesn't seem right...

I really hope we're able to move into our new place soon. I think moving and having to unpack, clean, decorate, etc, will help me stay focused on other things. I hope it will.

Happy Valentine's Day

Good news - my thyroid is fine. Bad news - my thyroid is fine.

I am glad that my tests came back normal. But I still feel completely wiped out. And the other symptoms I'm experiencing still need to have an explanation. I pushed through all my workouts this week, and I have another one today. It should be a 5 mile long run but lately I've been beat after 3.5 miles. So we'll see...I'm going to do as much as I can. Once you hit a wall, though, that's it.

Elijah is sick this weekend, too, and Adam isn't home from being on the road. Kind of feels like a weekend that I'd rather spend in bed!

Today was a good work out, considering...

The past two months I have been struggling to actually WANT to run. I have been so exhausted. I just can't seem to sleep enough. I've also gained a little weight, despite running the same amount of miles (or slightly more) and eating the same amount of calories. I am always cold, my hair has been falling out, I'm very susceptible to illness and constantly have terrible overall body aches. All these symptoms have led me to the doctor finally to have my thyroid checked. I won't get the results until Thursday. Part of me really hopes they say "Yup, your thyroid is under-active...take some meds and you'll be fine". It would explain all the above symptoms (plus the others...I'm a wreck!). And it would be nice to be able to explain it. But there's a part of me that just doesn't want a lifelong condition. I know that I'll still be able to run with it...but I'm just sort of hoping I'm okay. I don't know anymore...

So anyway, I did a 3 mile tempo run today and it was pretty good. I was tired during the run, and so tired after, but I made it through. Yeah, I need to figure out what's wrong with me before I get into those 8 mile long runs later in my training program!

ouch!

Something is wrong with my leg. Well, maybe not "wrong" but definitely "not right"! I have this constant pain localized about mid shin, but the pain actually goes more into my calf. It's NOT shin splints...I get those enough that I know what that pain feels like. This is a muscle issue (I think). Yesterday after running and showering, I noticed a large knot in the muscle. I iced it and took some ibuprofen. The knot shrunk but it is still so sore today.

I'm super frustrated lately. When I first started running again last year, it was going so well. I made improvements daily and never suffered with silly pain like this. This year has just been a challenge for me. I love running so much and it really frustrates me when I can't do it. I'd really like to invest in an exercise bike so I can cross train a little more. It's just tough in the winter months...I can't very well exercise outside in -20 degree windchills! And I don't want to take the little guy outside in the cold, either. I'm longing for spring!

Today I actually felt like this cold is going to be gone soon. The head congestion has pretty much lifted and the cough/chest congestion is almost gone as well. I can tell it wiped me out because I tried to push myself a little on the treadmill today and realized how quickly I got tired. But I made it through 3.5 good miles...I was hoping to do 4 but 3.5 good miles will do.

One thing I really need to focus on again is nutrition. When my weight plateaued a about 3 months ago, I stupidly tried to lower my carbs and up my protein. Yeah, it worked but I had NO energy after about 2 weeks. It was weird. The first two weeks I felt amazing and felt like I could run forever. Then I just crashed. That whole diet plan went out the window pretty quickly. Now, I'm pretty much back on track; however, I'm still kind of low on the carbs and overall calories. Most days I really have a tough time getting in enough calories...and then I wonder why I feel so tired! It's not really intentional...I just end up low. I'm going to sit down this weekend and plan a menu for next week, though, and I think that will help. I know I have to be careful with my nutrition if I expect to train well for over a 12 mile race. Sure, I really want to lose a little more weight, but more importantly, I want to be healthy and fit. And that means I have to remember to eat more (crazy thought for me!).